Don't Be Such a Baby

I've noticed over the years since becoming a vegetarian that I'm not as strong as I used to be.

I'm not talking physical prowess here, but stomach strength.  You know, the ability to sit through blood, guts, and gore and not flinch or feel acidity creeping up the back of your throat.  That kind of strength.

I used to be able to sit through the grossest of TV shows and movies.  I would watch marathons of Emergency Vets on Animal Planet, my eyes wide open during the surgery clips, dreaming of the day I'd be standing there saving the lives of animals.  Needless to say, I never went that route with my life.  I even went to see Saving Private Ryan at the movie theater, no the least bit sickened by the splaying of intestines, flying of limbs, and whatnot in the first scene.  Then I went home and had a hamburger for dinner.  I was strong.

Now I can't even read a graphic description without feeling at least a little bit queasy.  I just finished a book that described dissected bodies, bloodied and smashed up bodies post-fight, 1800s surgery patients, and I knew the grumbling in my stomach was not hunger.

This weakness has been a developing thing in my life and yet it still feels so alien, very unlike me.  I can stand the sight of blood and road kill simply makes me sad unless it's especially messy in which case I try not to look.  But these movies and TV shows and books.  What is wrong with me?

I can't help but wonder if it's the diet.  Does eating flesh harden a person to the ugliness?

Just some food for thought.

The Holy Cow

Alright, so I don't think the cow is holy, but at the rate I talk about my dairy dilemma, you'd think there was something super-extra-special about the heifer.  I suppose how hard our culture has made it to take dairy out of one's diet does make a cow a little bit special.

Remember how I used to use the Kosher labels on packaged foods so much?  If it is labeled Kosher and parve, I have to look at the ingredients list to make sure eggs are not a component.  If it is labeled Kosher and dairy, it is off limits.

I believe once I mentioned the mystery of this dairy label.  Let me recap:
Not all kosher products labeled as dairy actually have dairy ingredients.  My parents and I did not understand this at all and it 1. frustrated my mother because I wouldn't eat these products anyhow not knowing why they were labeled as such and 2. frustrated me because I didn't understand the labeling and it limited my potential food pantry even further.

Recently my dad used his food industry ties to unravel the mystery which is actually not so mysterious at all.

Folks, it is simply the strict rules of kosher eating.  If a product is manufactured in the same facility as a dairy product, even if it has not even come close to touching that dairy product, this product must be labeled as dairy.  According to kosher law, it is dairy.  I'm not going to go into the laws of what makes something kosher, but it all started to make sense to me.

But then my mom, according to her logic, figured I should be eating all those labeled-but-not dairy products.  My logic told me she was right, but my gut told me it was still all wrong.  There was something about those products that was wrong.  After an awkward confrontation about brownies for a get-together, I was guilted into eating labeled-but-not brownies and chocolate chips.  They were delicious but I felt horrible.

I spilled my guts to Zach.  Even if Zach is not a vegan, or even a vegetarian, I can spill my guts to him about my food crises and he'll listen with almost as much understanding as a vegan, sometimes more than some vegetarians.  He'll also play devils advocate and deal me a good dose of his own meat-eating opinion.  It works out in the end.

So, what did Zach say?  He wanted to know why I was so worried about being like other vegans.  (It's not like I'm striving to be a strict, perfect vegan anyhow).  These products have not touched dairy.  Eating them does not promote the dairy industry (I thought about it a few days later and you could argue that it does in a semi-long-winded fashion, but you could also argue that the oil spill somehow promotes the dairy industry.  Everything is a chain reaction, no?)  By eating these products I am not saying "This product may contain milk, nom nom nom yummy!"

That one talk completely changed my perspective on the issue.  A strict vegan probably wouldn't buy one of those products for the fear that it might have TOUCHED dairy.  It's still not a dairy product itself in the common sense of what dairy is.  If you are allergic to dairy, it's probably not a good idea to buy these foods because dairy particles may have been floating in the air.  But for somebody who is not eating dairy for ethical reasons, this isn't eating a piece of cheese or drinking a glass of milk.  No cow was harmed in the packaging of this cereal.

Thank you, Zach.

An Omnivorous Mother's Day

If you haven't figured it out yet, my parents eat meat.  As do my brother and his girlfriend.  So when it came to making Mother's Day reservations, we were all more concerned about my mom's tastebuds than the number of entrees from which I could choose.  Don't get me wrong, my parents always try to pick a restaurant where I can find something palatable on the menu, but this was my mom's day and so she was the priority.

We went to a local restaurant that had changed names and menus a couple of times but always remained a good choice.  It is well known for the selection of meats and fish because almost everything is smoked in the on-site smokehouse and, from what I have heard, very well.  Recently they added a "create-your-own pasta" entree to the menu which I thought I'd try.  Cavatappi with mushrooms, broccoli, and aglio olio sauce.  Pardon me if my spelling and Italian grammar is off.

When it came out, it smelled wonderful and I was about to taste a bite when, just before the waiter walked away I asked, "Is that cheese?"  Sprinkled and melted all over the top was shredded Parmesan cheese.  The waiter was very apologetic when I said "that wasn't on the menu" and took it back to get me a new one.  All I could think was how a restaurant shouldn't put something like dairy on a dish without writing it on the menu first.  What if somebody has a dairy allergy?  Menus should be explicit!  Then it occurred to me how demanding I was, even if I was just talking to myself in my head.  If I was still eating dairy, I would never have noticed that the cheese wasn't on the menu.  If somebody had pointed it out, I would have said something like, "Well if you have a special dietary need, then it's up to you to point that out to the waiter."  I'm becoming a hypocrite.

The manager came out with the fresh bowl of pasta and was extremely apologetic.  In fact he came back and stuck around a little too much to make sure we were all enjoying our Mother's Day.  He even told me a recipe he found once on how to make an ice cream-like concoction out of frozen bananas.  He's not vegan, but I was the only vegan he'd come across since he read about it. He was a very nice guy and I was very appreciative of the service--not everybody is so understanding.

By the time I dug in, everyone else was finished.  My parents had thoroughly enjoyed their whitefish (I think it was whitefish? Some sort of fish) while my brother ate brisket and his girlfriend nibbled some ribs.

Then my parents, brother, and brother's girlfriend shared a molten lava cake while I sipped some delicious decaf coffee (my mom always has to remind me about the decaf part at dinner time.)

Overall I'd say it was a good day.  Now on to Father's Day...

Bow to the Coffee Gods

Before giving up dairy, a favorite summer treat of mine was the Starbucks' Frappuccino.  Then came the Frappuccino light which made the treat seem nearly sinless.  What could be better than creamy, blended, icy coffee drinks on hot summer days?  Deeeelicious!

But, sadly, these delicacies contain dairy.  Drats.  I'd have to settle for an unexciting iced coffee that just goes too fast and lacks the thick beauty of a blended drink.

This past week I was at a Barnes and Noble with a friend and the coffee gods must have been looking down on me and smiling.  There on the menu was the new and fabulous Customizable Frappuccno!  Yes, readers, now you can make your Frappuccino dairy-less (with soy), decaffeinated (they were smiling down at my mom, too), light, and more!  I savored that beverage as if it were my last.

Okay, I exaggerate.  But it was darn good.

Then, the next day, we met some friends and another Starbucks with no Customizable Frappuccino menu! I inquired and was informed that the company was not to introduce this new idea until next week.  The barrista obviously saw the disappointment streaking across my face because he asked what I wanted.  And he granted my wish!!

I write this as I sit at Panera Bread drinking their irresistible hazelnut coffee with a friend.  No, I don't have a problem.  You do.

Seders and Sandals

The seder on Monday was pretty nice.  Nothing unusual other than my super-fabulous quinoa dish (recipe courtesy of Becca, one of the greatest friends ever.  No bias.  At all.)

The quinoa was a hit.  After everyone and their shadow asked what the stuff was and how it wasn't a whole grain (my uncle started by saying it's the only grain we can eat on Passover and I had to correct him--No, it's not a grain, that's why we can eat it on Passover).  Nobody missed the matzo kuegel that nobody made because of massive confusion because everyone was too busy enjoying that odd little not-grain.  My cousin even asked for the recipe.  Mmmm.  Yum.

The mock-chopped-liver wasn't such a hit.  I was surprised by how many people actually tried it, though.  It didn't turn out as creamy as I would have liked and it started to separate.  Yuck.  Maybe next time I'll stick in a hard-boiled egg?  (Yes, I know, but I'm the almost vegan).

Over all, satisfactory.


Yesterday my mom and I went shoe shopping.  I needed black sandals because for some reason I only have brown.  I also need some not-gym-shoe-walking-shoes.  I don't understand shoe makers.  Really.  Some of the shoes/sandals/footwear out there that has leather on it really does not need leather.  There will be a millimeter strip of leather that could have been made of vinyl but no, it's got to be leather.  This makes footwear shopping excessively difficult.  I wandered the aisles about three times before finally finding two pairs of sandals.  I had to look at the "ingredients" of the second pair three times and have my mom act as a second pair of eyes.  I usually pass up certain brands such as Clarks because they are always leather.  But I was desperate.  And what?  Man made upper?  Man made sole?  What?  I took them and ran.  Somebody out there is playing with me.  Evil.

But I win.

It's all melting

Hello.  Remember me? 

Yes.  I’ve been away awhile again.  It’s partly because I had been busy and partly because there really wasn’t much to say.  I’ve been exceptionally unadventurous lately and haven’t tried any new recipes in quite awhile.  I feel like a delinquent in that respect. 

I had a horrible outing just last weekend that is worth mentioning, though.  A friend had a birthday celebration at a bar in the city, so several of us decided to have dinner downtown before heading to the bar.  This is how the conversation between my friend Jess and I went about the restaurant:

Jess: We’re going to Harry Caray’s, is that okay?

Me: Yea, sounds good.

Okay, so I’m not sure if that was exactly how it went, but that is the gist.  So I went to the online menu for Harry Caray’s Restaurant.  It was definitely workable.  When we got off the El and found the destination, it was smaller than I expected and the inside was more like a bar, the kind where you sit at an empty table and the waitress brings you a small menu if you ask for one.  Well, that’s because it was Harry Caray’s Tavern.  There was nothing on the menu for me except for chips.  Not even a veggie burger.  There were grass fed beef burgers and organic turkey burgers, but no veggie burgers.  Go figure.  So I ordered the caprese panini without the cheese…a balsamic tomato sandwich.  I have no idea if the bread had egg or milk in it and I have no idea if they used butter or oil on the bread to grill it.  And I ate a lot of chips. 

Later at the bar I kept eyeing the dreamsicle martini.  I haven’t had a dreamsicle in ages and hadn’t thought about having one in at least seven months because, well, another name for a dreamsicle is a creamsicle.  But this martini had no creamy ingredients listed.  It seemed perfectly innocent.  So I ordered it.  When it came it looked creamy and frothy.  I was skeptical, but the ingredients listed were innocent.  I tasted it and of course it tasted creamy…it was dreamsicle!  It was delicious but I felt so guilty.  I must have been wrong about something in there.  I stopped halfway through because it was drying my throat and causing a tickle (all in my head?) but dammit the ingredients! 

On the bright side, I’m excited for Passover.  I know you don’t hear that often, especially from a vegetarian, but it’s always been one of my favorite Jewish holidays and the latest issue of Vegetarian Times has an entire article on a vegetarian seder.  Holy Moses!  I plan on bringing mock chopped liver and a quinoa dish as well as flourless chocolate cake (unless I come up with something better).  Quinoa, I learned, is not actually a grain but a relative of the spinach plant.  Duuuuude.  We can eat quinoa on Passover!!! 

I also found a recipe for matzo meal pancakes.  Pancakes and I have a special relationship.  This will be a happy Passover. 

Until then, chow down!

Soy-The Enemy?

I had a whole slew of recipes and dishes I was going to blog about.  The almost-vegan front has been slow, but enough delicious courses have come my way that a fair sized blog-post was in store.  Until my mom did some spiffy internet research that turned up the probable cause of the digestive troubles that have plagued me for the last several months.

That was a mouthful.

Did you know that soy is not a miracle food, even for vegetarians?  Too much soy intake can cause digestive discomfort.  :::DING DING DING:::  Also, too much soy before and during your period if you are female (that seems quite redundant) can cause heavy and uncomfortable periods because soy manipulates hormones.  That explains some other stuff.

To make a long story short, it is recommended that people only have soy once a day and that women limit soy before and during that time of month.  Certain people need to limit and avoid soy for other reasons, too (medication, illness, etc).

I was not aware of this and without dairy in my diet I was loading on the soy in all forms.  Tofu, tempeh, fake meats, etc.  It's all full of soy.  Just the past few days I've been trying to cut out all soy to see if I feel any better, and it's incredible to see how much soy is used in all the food products we use.  All of the dairy-free cereals in our house have some sort of soy product in the ingredients list.  The bread we bought has soybean oil. The vegan cookies my mom bought me for my birthday have soy this and soy that.  There are soy-somethings-and-anothers in so many things that cutting out soy is far more difficult than cutting out dairy and eggs.  That says something!

My mom brought up a good point--if soy manipulates hormones, should growing children even be eating it?

I won't, nor can I, give up soy all together, but I will definitely cut down on how much I eat.  I am looking for a larger variety of nuts and seeds to eat.  I bought almond milk today to try in place of soymilk (which I became slightly addicted to even if I don't drink it straight from a glass).

This whole almost-vegan thing is much harder than I thought.  Dang, soy.

This discovery has prompted a huge curiosity in me and I think I'll be doing some sort of research on soy.  Why do we rely so heavily on it?  What can it actually do to us?

Back to watching the Olympics and quietly wondering how many of these athletes are vegetarians, if any.