Meatless Meatba...sauce

Believe it or not, my parents do partake in some of my meatless-meat dishes with me.  One of the "fake" creations that seem to please all of our picky palates is the meatless meatball.  Granted, not all meatless meatballs are created equal, a fact that was reiterated quite loudly last night.

On a previous grocery shopping trip with my mom, an errand we tend to do together and I enjoy very much (I'm not sure if she enjoys my company or considers it a nuisance.  She either truly doesn't mind or pretends I'm helpful like a good mother), I threw a bag of meatless meatballs into the shopping cart.  My mom then informed me that we already had some at home, but we should buy them anyhow.  Why?  I don't know, but eventually they'd be eaten.  I was skeptical about the existence of these other fake balls of non-meaty goodness because I had not seen any in quite awhile in either of our freezers.  My dad had mistaken the falafel for meatballs once and I luckily caught the mistake before any dishes were prepared.  Okay, I give my dad more credit than that.  He would have taken the package out of the freezer and seen FALAFEL written nice and big and laughed at the mistake.  He's a smart fellow.

So yesterday I decided we should all have pasta with meatless meatballs for dinner.  It's amusing how happy my parents are when I decide what's for dinner, especially early on in the day.  I like making them happy this way, but on a regular basis I tend to be unresponsive to any dinner suggestions because I just don't care and have no particular taste for anything...just like my parents.  How exciting we are!

So I followed the directions on the bag and dumped the lumps into a pot of pre-made pasta sauce (you know, the kind you buy in the jars at the grocery store all fancy like that).  I turned the stove on and let it rip.  As soon as I opened the bag, I knew these weren't top knotch meatless meatballs, though.  Half the bag was excess crumbles and the balls were oddly formed and hardly "balls" at all, more ovals and splats.

After several turns of the sauce with a spoon I noticed something very peculiar.  The meatless meatballs had disappeared!  And those excess crumbles?  Well they nearly quadrupled in number.  Kids, those so-called meatless meatballs crumbled to smithereens in the pot of sauce!

We settled for pasta and fake-meat-sauce for dinner.  It was not "zesty" as the bag of meatless meatballs said it would be, but it was satisfactory for an unexpected meat sauce.  I have leftovers waiting for me in the fridge come lunch time.

Next time?  Quality balls of meatless goodness by a maker that I know and trust.